The Whore Next Door & Sex Workers Around the World
Do you believe that there’s someone you know who does sex work? Or, would you believe that someone you know exchanges her or his time in a sexy & intimate way for money or benefit?
It’s a lot more common than many people realize and is a trade shared all around the globe.
As I’ve been traveling in East Asia exploring the landscape and having self-discoveries, I have also been on a search to connect with other people who may be in the consensual sex trade to research and learn for the documentary story we’re putting together as a continuation of the stage play we put on this past summer (Confessions of a Courtesan: 7 Deadly Sin-Sational Stories) about my own experiences in sex work.
As a solo traveler, I haven’t been as bold as I would have liked to be in taking strolls down the massage parlor districts but somehow I always seem to make contact with at least one person who already is or has been a sex worker.
It’s invigorating to connect with fellow workers in the intimacy trade, even though I’ve been away from the “groundwork” for years now, ( I was a porn actress and an escort back in the majority of my twenties) and my experience is all digital these days (Maintaining a fantasy character for my online community and creating awesome, artistic erotica for us to enjoy).
Anywhere I travel around the world, we find each other. Sometimes I get to hear their stories and learn about their experiences with sex work in another country. It is fascinating every time. Other times, I’ll meet someone and we’ll share a split-second acknowledgment and an understanding that is felt deeply for just a breath.
Sex work is a worldwide network that expands boundaries and pre-dates recorded history. This includes porn actors, phone sex operators, BDSM professionals, pole dancers, erotic massage therapists, webcam models, the list goes on. We also can’t forget about the network of people surrounding the stars in action who keep the wheel turning: The patrons, the website producers, the editors, the club owners, the house mothers. We are everywhere.
When I travel, and we find each other and we connect in this way, I feel less alone.
It’s interesting to hear what people say about their individual experiences and I’d like to share their stories. I dream of bringing more awareness to a world that is too often hidden in the shadows.
Sex sells everything we strive for in this life: success, status, procreation, validity. So why aren’t the people providing that sense of fulfillment and fantasy, in consensual ways, giving their entire selves, being acknowledged more and cared for better?
The people giving their lives to care for us and provide the satisfaction we so crave deserve to be heard, to be protected, to be honored.
What I find as I travel through different countries and meet with different people with all kinds of perspectives is that the language of desire is universal. The desire and the human need for comfort and care is understood everywhere.
How can we begin to create a world where sex workers are not only acknowledged but respected and given proper attention without that little icky bit of shunning and shame underneath it all?
Think about what we would do if sex work didn't exist.
If our favorite film stars didn’t give us the fantasies we crave, what then? If we didn't have access to someone willing and consenting to fulfill our deepest dreams and make them more tangible in this life how would we survive as sexual beings?
What would we do without the open heart and courageous actions of a sex worker?
I say, we need each other and we must cultivate a system that helps us feel connected and safe; Not ostracized and isolated, like discarded things to be used as objects of satisfaction.
Everything is connected to everything else, and I’m here to say that the world of sex work is an ever-weaving web.
I am still learning how to open up about my own experience in safe environments to foster and attract more of these connections. It helps me learn and grow this expansion and sense of power within myself as a sexual caregiver. I also aim to expand and honor the stories I’m able to collect and share one day through this film project, carrying them like a radiant basket of rare gemstones.
